Please. Don't.

My dear Juliet, my love,

I feel you crumble and I feel I have caused it. I start to fall apart as well. My love, my sweet little love, please listen to me, please read in all the love that I've planted in these words. There's an ocean of it.

I am so sorry you doubt my love for you, and I can only blame myself for it. You know, some days I wake up bursting of happiness, just because of knowing I have your love. On others I can barely move because of the weight of knowing your pain. You have been on hold. I am the one who put you on hold. And I feel so ashamed of that! How could I ever think that you would wait for me? That you would find some kind of content in my promises? I am so sorry for that. I had no right.

If you feel you will need to let someone else into your heart, I do understand. Your heart is too precious to not beat so close to the one you love, that he can feel it on his bare skin. At the same time I need to be honest. I die from the mere thought of not having your love. Oh Juliet, I feel walls braking down, the ground shaking, from thinking of you in somebody else's arms. Of somebody else touching your neck, kissing your shoulder as I do. I go mad by the thought of someone else feeling the scent of your skin in the morning, of somebody's hands on your body.

At the same time I finally see, that is how you've felt it the whole time, waiting, anticipating the moment when we finally can share our love, out in the open.

I beg you not to turn to someone else - and at the same time I need to let you go! Oh my dearest, you have, with all right ripped my heart out of my chest with your bare hands!

What can I do? I cannot lose you and still I feel I already have! My love, thunder of my heart, I cannot explain why you've had to be the one on hold. I do believe, though, that the moment our life starts, the one we'd have together, that's when we'll feel it was worth all the struggle, all the pain. We will see the reason of unreason.

Juliet, oh my love, don't you know I breathe your love?

XXXXX R

I am happy we talked

My love, my Juliet

After your last letter I had to call you. As I told you on the phone, I felt it was time to listen to each other's voices again.

I am happy you start feeling you are returning to be your own person. I would never want for you to define yourself through your love for me - even though I admit, it is a beautiful thought and it made me feel a bit proud of having you, loving me.

But as I told you before, you are in yourself such a beautiful person, that you don't need to be defined through the existence of anyone else, nor through the projection of your feelings towards anybody else.

I partially define you, however, through the love you project. Not towards me or anyone else, but in general. That is a huge part of what you are and what makes your aura so beautifully vibrating.

Of course, as you guessed, I also felt a sting of maybe not being so needed. A man always seems to have that need - to feel needed. But I promise you, I will survive.

I feel so much closer to you right now. All these days that passed between us suddenly seem to bring us closer. And that also makes me believe, even more than before, that we can do this.

Thank you for your honesty, my dear love. I wish you could place your hand on my heart right now, because it's throbbing like a wild horse on the run. And it's all for you.

All my love

XXXXXX R

You have earned my love

My love, my Juliet

I don't know how to make you sure of my love! From a distance it's even harder, it seems. You earn my love, without a doubt. You earn it by being yourself, by opening up your soul, that I have fallen so madly in love with, to me.

I am sorry that we cannot, in this situation, share all of our experiences, all of our thoughts, all of our joys, all of our sorrows with each other. I would like to, more than anything.

You are right: I don't want you to lock away your love, all of your passion. I want you to live fully - as you said yourself - because that is what I love about you! Your ability to do everything with the passion that you have inside of you, to look at the world and life with your eyes and your heart open. Please do not stop doing that, especially not for me, because that would be killing the fire inside of you, the same fire that lit my heart when we met.

My love, you are the brightest star on my nightly sky, and I wish - oh, how I wish - that I at some point, finally can be there to show you that.

Oh my Juliet, it might seem this is easy for me, but that is not how I feel in my heart. I would like to promise you, though, that we one day will feel the struggle was all worth it in the end.

My love, I am here, don't forget that.

XXXXXX R

Not even my love

My little one, my Juliet

Oh how sad your letter made me. At first, I felt such happiness from seeing the little envelope pop up on my screen. I knew it was you, baby. But reading your words caused a lump to grow in my chest. It has slowly moved upwards, taking it's place in my throat. Now I feel like crying, but I must try to stay calm.

If not even my love can make you survive this distance, this wait, what can? I was hoping you would be fed by my love, that it would be stronger than any distance, that it would be fueling you with hope and keep your dreams - our dreams - alive.

Now I see you twisting and turning through the dark nights, and it makes me wonder - will you be able to hold on?

My dearest love, oh sweet Juliet, you have a good imagination and I am glad you do. Because I would not want to do anything so much as I want to let my breath fall on your skin. Reading your letter made me almost feel those thin hairs on the back of your neck, I saw them gently move from my breath. Oh, Juliet, how I wish I could leave all of this and just be there with you. You know I would in a moment.

Please don't spend your days dreaming, but fill them with what's important to you, right now, in real life. I wouldn't want to be the cause of you escaping ordinary life. I want to see you out there, being happy and free, despite of us being apart.

I know this is not easy, but maybe, if we're lucky, all the anticipation, agony and longing will one day be made up for.

XXXXXX R